Narrated by Abu Huraira (r) that the Prophet (S) was asked, “Messenger of Allah (S), Who is most deserving of my good company?” The Prophet said: “Your mother.!” The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your mother!” The man asked yet another time: “Then who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your mother!” The man asked again: “Then who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your father!”
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ: قِيلَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم، مَنْ أَبَرُّ؟ قَالَ: أُمَّكَ، قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: أُمَّكَ، قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: أُمَّكَ، قَالَ: ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ: أَبَاكَ.
Source: Al Adabul Mufrad – Bukhari, Muslim
The greatest right over humanity is that of Almighty God!
Belief in Him and obedience to His rules are the first and foremost responsibilities that believers have towards Him.
After servitude to Almighty God, the greatest duty of believers is Ihsan (dutifulness, kindness and respect) to their parents.
Fulfillment of responsibilities towards parents is not just our social duty but a religious one – Fard ‘Ayn on each one of us!
While parents are naturally inclined to love their children, children often disregard the rights of their parents.
Indeed, it is impossible to estimate the depth of attachment and compassion parents feel for their children, nor is it possible to calculate the challenges and hardships they go through while bringing up their kids.
For this and many other reasons, showing Ihtiram (dutifulness, kindness, respect) to them is a debt of human gratitude as well as a religious obligation.
It is for this reason, and because of the enormous debt that an individual owes to his/her parents, that the Qur’an and Hadith have made it compulsory, indicating with clear guidelines as how to provide Ihsan to both parents.
Almighty God says in the Qur’an: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show kindness to parents. And if one of them or both of them attain old age with you, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor.
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا
And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy and say: My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.”
وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
(Al Isra’ 23, 24)
This term ‘Ihsan’ has been used in this verse of the Qur’an as a special term to describe our relationship with our parents.
In Arabic language, Ihsan means a state of a relationship in which a person is pleased even when he/she receives less than his/her due right is or offers more than what his/her duties call for.
It is clear from this definition that the Qur’an does not merely ask us to treat our parents on the basic of equality and justice.
It commands us, rather, that we show respect, kindness and love to them at all times and forever!
They have special rights and we are obliged to fulfill them!
The rights of parents are from the category of greatest rights – ‘a’zami huquq’.
One of the main distinguishing characteristics of the true Muslim is upholding parents’ rights and his/her respectful and kind treatment of the parents, because to treat them with respect and kindness is one of the greatest commandments of Islam, as explained in both primary sources of Islam – Qur’an and Sunnah.
The recognition and respect of parents is mentioned in the Qur’an eleven times and in every instance where God reminds children to recognize, to appreciate and to be grateful for the love and care they have received from their parents. (Ankabut 8)
If we fail to do as God ordered us, we will find ourselves in the category of those known as “walad al ‘Aq” or a disobedient child.
Disobedience towards parents is linked with disobedience to God just as treating them with kindness and respect is connected to belief in Almighty God.
Disobedience towards one’s parents is a great transgression that the true Muslims fear to commit, because it will demolish their reward in this world and is, in fact, viewed as one of the worst sins that will be punished even in this world.
It was reported that Muhammad (S) asked the Sahabah three times: “Shall I tell you the greatest sins?’ We said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of God.’ He said: ‘Associating partners with God and disobeying one’s parents.’’ (Bukhari, Muslim)
In another hadith, we find that the Messenger of God, Muhammad (S) warned us in following words as narrated by Nafi’ ibn al-Harith (r) that the Prophet (S) said, “Every consequence of sin is delayed by Allah, as He wills, until the Day of Resurrection, except for injustice, disobedience to parents, or severing family ties. He will hasten the punishment of those who commit them in this world before he/she dies.” (Al-Adab al-Mufrad)
عَنْ نفيع بن الحارث عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ كُلُّ ذُنُوبٍ يُؤَخِّرُ اللَّهُ مِنْهَا مَا شَاءَ إِلَى يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ إِلا الْبَغْيَ وَعُقُوقَ الْوَالِدَيْنِ أَوْ قَطِيعَةَ الرَّحِمِ يُعَجِّلُ لِصَاحِبِهَا فِي الدُّنْيَا قَبْلَ الْمَوْت
As we can understand from the verse 23 of Surah Al Isra’, God has asked human beings to recognize their parents after recognizing Almighty God, Himself.
Yes, we must recognize both of them; however, Islam stresses a special place that mothers have in children’s lives and thus children must realize that the Prophet (S) declared that our mothers are the most deserving of our good company, even before our fathers.
Abu Huraira (r) narrated that a man asked the Prophet (S) “Who is most deserving of my good company?” The Prophet said: “Your mother.!” The man asked again, “The who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your mother!” The man asked yet another time: “Then who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your mother!” The man asked again: “Then who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your father!” (Bukhari, Muslim)
Ya Rabb! We beg of You to guide us to be dutiful to our parents, show them kindness, respect and be grateful for all they have done for us when we were little babies!
We ask of You, Ya Rabb! To guide us never to be among those known as disobedient children!
Allahumma Amin!
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