Author: Zijad Delic

Narrated by Abu Huraira (r) that the Prophet (S) was asked, “Messenger of Allah (S), Who is most deserving of my good company?” The Prophet said: “Your mother.!” The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your mother!” The man asked yet another time: “Then who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your mother!” The man asked again: “Then who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your father!”
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ‏:‏ قِيلَ‏:‏ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم، مَنْ أَبَرُّ‏؟‏ قَالَ‏:‏ أُمَّكَ، قَالَ‏:‏ ثُمَّ مَنْ‏؟‏ قَالَ‏:‏ أُمَّكَ، قَالَ‏:‏ ثُمَّ مَنْ‏؟‏ قَالَ‏:‏ أُمَّكَ، قَالَ‏:‏ ثُمَّ مَنْ‏؟‏ قَالَ‏:‏ أَبَاكَ‏.
Source: Al Adabul Mufrad – Bukhari, Muslim
The greatest right over humanity is that of Almighty God!
Belief in Him and obedience to His rules are the first and foremost responsibilities that believers have towards Him.
After servitude to Almighty God, the greatest duty of believers is Ihsan (dutifulness, kindness and respect) to their parents.
Fulfillment of responsibilities towards parents is not just our social duty but a religious one – Fard ‘Ayn on each one of us!
While parents are naturally inclined to love their children, children often disregard the rights of their parents.
Indeed, it is impossible to estimate the depth of attachment and compassion parents feel for their children, nor is it possible to calculate the challenges and hardships they go through while bringing up their kids.
For this and many other reasons, showing Ihtiram (dutifulness, kindness, respect) to them is a debt of human gratitude as well as a religious obligation.
It is for this reason, and because of the enormous debt that an individual owes to his/her parents, that the Qur’an and Hadith have made it compulsory, indicating with clear guidelines as how to provide Ihsan to both parents.
Almighty God says in the Qur’an: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show kindness to parents. And if one of them or both of them attain old age with you, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor.
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاَهُمَا فَلاَ تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّ وَلاَ تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلاً كَرِيمًا
And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy and say: My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.”
وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
(Al Isra’ 23, 24)
This term ‘Ihsan’ has been used in this verse of the Qur’an as a special term to describe our relationship with our parents.
In Arabic language, Ihsan means a state of a relationship in which a person is pleased even when he/she receives less than his/her due right is or offers more than what his/her duties call for.
It is clear from this definition that the Qur’an does not merely ask us to treat our parents on the basic of equality and justice.
It commands us, rather, that we show respect, kindness and love to them at all times and forever!
They have special rights and we are obliged to fulfill them!
The rights of parents are from the category of greatest rights – ‘a’zami huquq’.
One of the main distinguishing characteristics of the true Muslim is upholding parents’ rights and his/her respectful and kind treatment of the parents, because to treat them with respect and kindness is one of the greatest commandments of Islam, as explained in both primary sources of Islam – Qur’an and Sunnah.
The recognition and respect of parents is mentioned in the Qur’an eleven times and in every instance where God reminds children to recognize, to appreciate and to be grateful for the love and care they have received from their parents. (Ankabut 8)
If we fail to do as God ordered us, we will find ourselves in the category of those known as “walad al ‘Aq” or a disobedient child.
Disobedience towards parents is linked with disobedience to God just as treating them with kindness and respect is connected to belief in Almighty God.
Disobedience towards one’s parents is a great transgression that the true Muslims fear to commit, because it will demolish their reward in this world and is, in fact, viewed as one of the worst sins that will be punished even in this world.
It was reported that Muhammad (S) asked the Sahabah three times: “Shall I tell you the greatest sins?’ We said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of God.’ He said: ‘Associating partners with God and disobeying one’s parents.’’ (Bukhari, Muslim)
In another hadith, we find that the Messenger of God, Muhammad (S) warned us in following words as narrated by Nafi’ ibn al-Harith (r) that the Prophet (S) said, “Every consequence of sin is delayed by Allah, as He wills, until the Day of Resurrection, except for injustice, disobedience to parents, or severing family ties. He will hasten the punishment of those who commit them in this world before he/she dies.” (Al-Adab al-Mufrad)
عَنْ نفيع بن الحارث عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ كُلُّ ذُنُوبٍ يُؤَخِّرُ اللَّهُ مِنْهَا مَا شَاءَ إِلَى يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ إِلا الْبَغْيَ وَعُقُوقَ الْوَالِدَيْنِ أَوْ قَطِيعَةَ الرَّحِمِ يُعَجِّلُ لِصَاحِبِهَا فِي الدُّنْيَا قَبْلَ الْمَوْت
As we can understand from the verse 23 of Surah Al Isra’, God has asked human beings to recognize their parents after recognizing Almighty God, Himself.
Yes, we must recognize both of them; however, Islam stresses a special place that mothers have in children’s lives and thus children must realize that the Prophet (S) declared that our mothers are the most deserving of our good company, even before our fathers.
Abu Huraira (r) narrated that a man asked the Prophet (S) “Who is most deserving of my good company?” The Prophet said: “Your mother.!” The man asked again, “The who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your mother!” The man asked yet another time: “Then who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your mother!” The man asked again: “Then who?” The Prophet (S) said: “Your father!” (Bukhari, Muslim)
Ya Rabb! We beg of You to guide us to be dutiful to our parents, show them kindness, respect and be grateful for all they have done for us when we were little babies!
We ask of You, Ya Rabb! To guide us never to be among those known as disobedient children!
Allahumma Amin!

Fleeing to Allah in Times of Calamities and Trials

Narrated by Thabit (r) that he heard from Anas (r) that the Prophet (S) said: “The real patience is at the first stroke of a calamity.”
عَنْ ثَابِتٍ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَنَسًا ـ رضى الله عنه ـ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ الصَّبْرُ عِنْدَ الصَّدْمَةِ الأُولَ
Source: Bukhari
Transliteration: “As Sabru ‘Indas Sadmatil Ula.”
Our lives are often interrupted with situations, challenges, afflictions, trials and calamities.
Some of these happenings are natural and some are caused by human beings.
We lived normal lives and all of a sudden, this COVID-19 happens!
We traveled, spent time with friends and now we must plan differently due to the COVID-19 restrictions.
Some of these challenges are personal, some are related to the families, health, jobs while others are related to racism and diverse types of discrimination (like islamophobia) as well as safety and security nationally or internationally due to conflicts, aggressions and wars.
Yes, things do happen and in the midst of these happenings, we often do not see the light, the way out and loose hope!
And when we are in a such state, anxiety assails, pessimism visits us, despair and depression creep into our lives.
And that should not be the case!
Things do happen in live and we need to do all possible preventative measures that they do not happen, but still, if they happen, we must learn how to deal with them.
Whom to learn from how to deal with challenges, if not from the best of the teachers, the Chosen one (Mustafa), Muhammad (S), our role-model!
How did Muhammad (S) respond to trials and calamities?
What did he do in those challenging moments?
First of all, Muhammad (S) understood that challenges and calamities are inevitable tests in life, and we should understand the same way this reality.
“Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe” and not be tested?” (Ankabut 29:2)
أَحَسِبَ النَّاسُ أَن يُتْرَكُوا أَن يَقُولُوا آمَنَّا وَهُمْ لَا يُفْتَنُونَ
Secondly, when afflicted with challenges, he was not distracted but got more composed and the khair (good) visited him.
It was narrated by Suhaib (r) that Allah’s Messenger (S) said: “Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his/her and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he/she has an occasion to feel delight, he/she thanks (God), thus there is a good for him/her in it, and if he/she gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him/her in it (again).” (Muslim)
عَنْ صُهَيْبٍ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ “‏ عَجَبًا لأَمْرِ الْمُؤْمِنِ إِنَّ أَمْرَهُ كُلَّهُ خَيْرٌ وَلَيْسَ ذَاكَ لأَحَدٍ إِلاَّ لِلْمُؤْمِنِ إِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ سَرَّاءُ شَكَرَ فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ وَإِنْ أَصَابَتْهُ ضَرَّاءُ صَبَرَ فَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَهُ
Thirdly, Muhammad (S) was an optimist who thought of Allah only the best and expected of Him only the best because he understood Allah’s words clearly, as we should: “I am as my servants think of Me.” (Hadith Qudsi – Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmizi, Ibn Majah)
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَقُولُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى: أَنَا عِنْدَ ظَنِّ عَبْدِي بِي
Fourthly, God Almighty taught Muhammad (S) that after the challenge, ease will come and to expect the reward for being Sabir (patient) when facing challenges in life, as God Almighty tells in the Qur’an:
“For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.” (Ash Sharh 91:5-6)
فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا
“And We will most certainly try (test) you with fear and hunger and loss of property and lives and fruits. And give glad tidings to the patient.” (Al Baqarah 2:155)
وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُمْ بِشَيْءٍ مِّنَ الْخَوفْ وَالْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍ مِّنَ الأَمَوَالِ وَالأنفُسِ وَالثَّمَرَاتِ وَبَشِّرِ الصَّابِرِينَ
Lastly, when the calamities assailed into his life, Muhammad (S) will flee to his Creator, as in the case of the abuse in Taif: “To You, o my Lord, I complain of my weakness!
اَللّٰھُمَّ إِلَیْکَ أَشْکُوْا ضَعْفَ قُوَّتِیْ
Ya Arhamar Rahimin (O, the most Merciful One)!
You are the Lord of the weak; You are my Lord!
To whom do you leave me?
To a distant person who receives me with hostility?
Or to the enemy You have given power over me?
And as long as You are not displeased with me, I do not mind what I face!
I would, however, be much happier with Your mercy!
Allah responds and aids Muhammad (S) with angels who ask Muhammad (S) to bring the two mountains (whose pebbles Taif people used to stone Muhammad (S)) to punish them but the Rasul (S) said: No! Rather, I pray that Allah blesses their children to be Muslims and worship Allah alone (Ar Rahiq Al Makhtum)
Ya Rabb! Guide us to understand that life is full of challenges that we need to face soberly as Muhammad (S) did by fleeing to the Creator in those difficult moments and seeing His protection – the protection of the Waliyy, Who is the Most Merciful and Compassionate!
Allahumma Amin!

The Balance in Raising Our Children

by Imam Zijad

Narrated Abu Huraira (r) that al-Aqra’ b. Habis saw Allah’s Apostle (S) kissing Hasan. He said: “I have ten children, but I have never kissed any one of them, whereupon Allah’s Messenger (S) said: He who does not show mercy (towards his children), no mercy would be shown to him.”

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ الأَقْرَعَ بْنَ حَابِسٍ، أَبْصَرَ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يُقَبِّلُ الْحَسَنَ فَقَالَ إِنَّ لِي عَشَرَةً مِنَ الْوَلَدِ مَا قَبَّلْتُ وَاحِدًا مِنْهُمْ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِنَّهُ مَنْ لاَ يَرْحَمْ لاَ يُرْحَمْ

Source: Muslim

Transliteration: “Innahu Man La Yarham, La Yurham.”

Muslim parents should work on building children’s self-esteem and never give a chance to tear it down.

Helping children develop healthy self-esteem is one of the most important things that parents can do for them here and now.

Children need to be assured by their parents’ attitude of care, love and mercy, not just words, that they are a special gift from God.

This attitude of parents towards children would give them sense of value, purpose, and direction in their young life.

If parents do not achieve this goal but focus on weakening or tearing their children’s self-esteem, that could leave long term consequences in their lives of their own children.

There are several ways how parents tear down children’s self-worth and self-esteem:

1. Perfectionism: Many parents see one ‘B’ among all ‘A’s’ which their children get at the end of a term.

Such perfectionist parents will tear down their children’s self-esteem by never being satisfied with their accomplishments.

Yes, it is good to fine tune of the children’s actions and it is desirable when parents are sure that the child’s self-esteem can handle it.

However, it is important that children’s effort be applauded.

2. Overprotection: Parents should remember that bruised knees will heal, but low self-esteem can last for a lifetime.
3. Humiliation: There are many parents who, by their way of dealing with their children and the way they talk to them, think that they are motivating and correcting their children, but instead, they are really humiliating them.

Humiliation is a common way to rob and destroy a child of self-esteem.

This applies to everyone, especially when we are dealing with our children.

Almighty Allah says in the Qur’an: “O you who believe! Do not humiliate one another by calling each other offensive names.” (Al Hujurat 11)

All parents are having different parental styles based on their personality type, background, and experiences.

Experts say that there are several styles of parenting that strengthen or weaken the child’s self-esteem, and these are: permissive, free-reigning, authoritarian, controlling and nurturing and limits setting.

Most parents fall somewhere between permissive and controlling styles.

Permissive and free-reigning parents often have trouble setting limits.

Authoritarian parents often fail to listen what children have to say or show respect for their ideas or opinions.

Controlling parents nurture and set limits for their children, but frequently go overboard in supervising and micromanaging them.

The most balance style of parenting is the one that falls between nurturing and setting limits.

Islam promotes moderation in every aspect of life, as pointed in the last three posts, including parenting, as Almighty Allah says in the Qur’an: “And thus We have made you an Ummah of moderation (justly balanced).”(Al Baqarah 143)

On this basis, the ideal parents are those who achieve the right balance between nurturing and limit setting.

They are firm in setting limits, yet they allow children freedom within those limits.

They make very positive comments and are reasonable in discipline.

They are principled, firm yet kind, merciful and generous.

The reason is obvious: they care about their children and thus want to ensure that the children attain full potential on the path of their development and growth.

If it happens that children sometimes face challenges on that path, children will know that their parents’ support is inevitable and available at any point in time they need it.

Ya Rabb! Guide us parents to nurture our children and set limits in their lives so that our lives and their lives be filled with progress, success, cooperation and mutual celebrations!

Allahumma Amin!

Narrated by Ibn ‘Abbas (r) that “The Messenger of Allah (S) would wear a red-striped cloak on the day of Eid.” عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ قَالَ كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَلْبَسُ يَوْمَ الْعِيدِ بُرْدَةً حَمْرَاءَ Source: al-Mu’jam al-Awsaṭ 7808 Transliteration: “Kana Rasulullahi (S) Yalbisu Yawmal ‘Eidi Burdatan Hamra.”

Islam values manners and etiquettes in everything we do! Eid ul Adha has some important etiquettes to be observed by Muslims. Here are some etiquettes and Sunnahs with which Eids should be celebrated (of course, during the time of COVID 19, some of the extra rules must be adapted and followed issued by the Canada’s health experts as well as the SNMC team. Please visit SNMC platforms for these):

1. It is recommended to take a bath on the morning of Eid. Imam Ibn Qudamah said that it is recommended to perform Ghusl for Eid. Ibn Omar would perform Ghusl on the day of Eid and Ali is reported to have done so as well. Al- Nawawi said that the Muslims were unanimously agreed that it is mustahab to do ghusl for Eid prayer. The reason why it is mustahab is the same reason as that for doing ghusl before Jumu’ah and other public gatherings. Rather on Eid the reason is even stronger. This is opinion of the other great scholars.

2. It is recommended to dress well for Eids for it is the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (S) who used to dress well for Eid prayers. (Ibn Khuzaymah) Ibn Al Qayyum said that the Messenger of Allah would wear his best clothes to go to the Eid prayer. He had a cloak that he wore specifically on the two Eids and Fridays. (Zadul Ma’ad)

3. It is mustahab on Eid ul Adha not to eat anything until one comes back from the prayer, so he/she should eat from the Udhiyah if he/she has offered a sacrifice.

4. It is recommended to use different routes for going to and coming from Eid prayers. Jabir bin Abdullah reported that the Messenger of Allah (S) used two different routes for Eid, one for going to Eid prayer and another for coming back from Eid prayer. (Bukhari) Ibn Qayyim said that Muhammad (S) would take different routes on the day of the Eid, going one way and returning another one. It has been said that the wisdom for this is to greet the people of both routes; so that the people of both routes will receive blessings from him (through his supplication and salams); to fulfill the needs of the needy people on both routes, etc.’ (Zadul Ma’ad)

5. It is recommended for ladies to participate in the Eid prayers. (Bukhari, Muslim)

6. Takbir (saying Allahu Akbar) is a clearly distinctive feature of Muslims’ Eid celebrations. This is one of the greatest Sunnahs on the day of Eid because Allah says: “(He wants that you) must complete the same number (of days), and that you must magnify Allah [i.e. to say Takbir (Allahu Akbar: Allah is the Most Great)] for having guided you so that you may be grateful to Him” (Al Baqarah 2:185) On Eid ul Adha, Takbir starts from Magrib on the 9th Zul Hijjah and last until the ‘Asr prayer on the 13th Zul Hijjah. One of the recommended Takbirs is as follows: “Allahu Akbar Allahu Akbar (Allahu Akbar), La Ilaha Illallahu Wallahu Akbar Allahu Akbar Wa lillahil Hamd. (Tirmizi) On the day of Eid, the takbir starts from the time that one leaves the house heading towards the Mosque/Musalla. It is confirmed that the Messenger of Allah (S) ‘Would leave (his house), on the day of Eid, saying Takbir until he reached the Musalla, and until he performed the prayer. Once he had performed the prayer, he would stop saying the Takbir.’ (Ibn Abi Shayban) Saying Takbir when coming out of one’s house to the prayer place and until the imam comes out was something that was well known tradition among the salaf (early generations). This has been narrated by a number of scholars such as Ibn Abi Shaybah, ‘Abd a l-Razzaq and al-Firyabi in Ahkam al-Eidayn

7. After Fajr prayer, the Eid prayer should be the first thing to start the day of Eid with as it was done by the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad (S).

8. It is very important for the Muslims to congratulate one another for the Eid by saying: Taqabbalallahu Minna wa Minkum – my Allah accept from us and you, Eid Mubarak or any other good expression that is allowed in Shari’ah. Jubay ibn Nufair reported that when the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad (S) and the companions met on the Eid day, they used to say: May Allah accept our good deeds. (Ibn Hajar says that the hadith is sound) During the time of COVID-19, we must follow the rules of social distancing and thus avoid shaking hands and hugging.

Ya Rabb! Make us of those who would follow these beautiful Sunnahs so that we attain the maximum benefits of the Eid ul Adha days. Allahumma Amin!

Imam Zijad