Founder’s Corner: Forget and Forgive to Move Forward

By Dr Emdad Khan.

We Human beings make mistakes in life and unknowingly commits sins. Two kinds of forgiveness are essential to move forward: Allah’s forgiveness and human forgiveness.

Adam and Hawa (AHS) case is a beautiful example of seeking forgiveness, unlike, Shaitan. They did not blame Shaitan or blame each other. They owned the mistake and sought forgiveness and mercy from Allah swt.

قَالَا رَبَّنَا ظَلَمۡنَآ أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمۡ تَغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَتَرۡحَمۡنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ ٱلۡخَـٰسِرِينَ (٢٣) سُوۡرَةُ الاٴعرَاف

Adam/Hawa: They said: “Our Lord! We have wronged ourselves. If You forgive us not, and bestow not upon us Your Mercy, we shall certainly be of the losers.” (7.23)

 The case of prophet Younus AHS has two dimensions. He got upset, his community did not listen and were simply waiting for Allah’s punishment. Here Prophet Younus did not wait until Allah swt commanded him to move out and by the time, his community seeing the red Cloud at the horizon got frightened and seek forgiveness and Allah swt forgave them.

But Allah swt put a new test for prophet Younus AHS, and he was tested and in mult0e darkness was swallowed by Hout /Whale. He admitted his mistake and Allah swt forgave him. Also, as we know form Hadith, who ever recite the Dua Younus, Allah swt will also protect him from difficulties.

وَذَا ٱلنُّونِ إِذ ذَّهَبَ مُغَـٰضِبً۬ا فَظَنَّ أَن لَّن نَّقۡدِرَ عَلَيۡهِ فَنَادَىٰ فِى ٱلظُّلُمَـٰتِ أَن لَّآ إِلَـٰهَ إِلَّآ أَنتَ سُبۡحَـٰنَكَ إِنِّى ڪُنتُ مِنَ ٱلظَّـٰلِمِينَ (٨٧) سُوۡرَةُ الاٴنبیَاءya

Prophet YOUNIS: And (remember) Dhunnun (the man of the fish, namely Younus (A.S)), when he walked away in anger and thought that We would never put him to trouble. Then, he called (Us) in depths of darkness saying, “There is no god but You. Pure are You. Indeed, I was among the wrongdoers”. (21.87)

Forgive, Forget and Move forward: parents, relative, everyone and ourselves.

First, our parents (father, mother, father-in-law & mother-in-law), living or dead. We must forgive them for every mistake they made in bringing us up. By not forgiving our parents, we remain a child and see ourselves as victims and keep our negative feelings and anger alive.

Second, close relatives, forgive relation from our marriages or blood. These relationships can be intense, and threatening to our feelings of self-esteem and self-worth, that we may be angry and unforgiving toward those people for years.

Third, let go by writing a letter/email but nor sending “the letter” is considered a powerful way in putting a bad relationship behind, a powerful way to free us from feelings of anger and resentment.

Fourth, forgive everyone else who has ever hurt us in any way. Clear and clean our slate and move forward.

Fifth, forgive us for every senseless, wicked, thoughtless or cruel thing we have ever done or said. Stop carrying these past mistakes around with us.

Finally, recite the Dua, (last verse of sura Al-Baqarah) and we will feel very light as we will be relived from all burdens and feel peace and tranquility in our heart. 

لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللّٰهُ نَفۡسًا اِلَّا وُسۡعَهَا ‌ؕ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتۡ وَعَلَيۡهَا مَا اكۡتَسَبَتۡ‌ؕ رَبَّنَا لَا

تُؤَاخِذۡنَاۤ اِنۡ نَّسِيۡنَاۤ اَوۡ اَخۡطَاۡنَا ‌ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحۡمِلۡ عَلَيۡنَاۤ اِصۡرًا كَمَا حَمَلۡتَهٗ عَلَى الَّذِيۡنَ مِنۡ قَبۡلِنَا ‌‌ۚرَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلۡنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهٖ‌ ۚ وَاعۡفُ عَنَّا وَاغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَارۡحَمۡنَا اَنۡتَ مَوۡلٰٮنَا فَانۡصُرۡنَا عَلَى الۡقَوۡمِ الۡكٰفِرِيۡنَ‏ ﴿۲۸۶﴾  سُوۡرَةُ البَقَرَة

Allah burdens not a person beyond his scope. He gets reward for that (good) which he has earned, and he is punished for that (evil) which he has earned. “Our Lord! Account us not if we forget or fall into error, our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us, our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us Forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Protector and give us victory over the disbelieving people.” (2.286) Surah Al-Baqara