The 2nd Goal of Muslim Homes – Model the Standards of the Creator! (Parenting-Part 3)

A Moment with Our Prophet, Muhammad (S)

By Imam Zijad Delic

Day 236


Malik (r) narrated that the Prophet (S) said: “I have been sent to perfect good character.” (Imam Malik)

عَنْ مَالِك أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ بُعِثْتُ لِأُتَمِّمَ حُسْنَ الْأَخْلَاقِ

Our duty, therefore, is to model for our children, in every way we can, that God’s standards are unquestionably above our own human standards and constructs.

Thus, these standards matter to all believers!

God Almighty tells us: “Do you preach righteousness and fail to practice it yourselves.” (Qur’an 2:44)

أَتَأْمُرُونَ النَّاسَ بِالْبِرِّ وَتَنسَوْنَ أَنفُسَكُمْ

“O believers! Why do you say what you do not do? How despicable it is in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do!”

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آَمَنُوا لِمَ تَقُولُونَ مَا لَا تَفْعَلُونَ

كَبُرَ مَقْتًا عِندَ اللَّهِ أَن تَقُولُوا مَا لَا تَفْعَلُونَ

If children see that their parents approach their faith, themselves, the family, other people and events around them in reference to these higher divine standards, they will mature into the same mode of Islamic behavior – the behavior of the role-model the Prophet (S) who was sent to perfect human character, as narrated by Malik (r) from the Prophet (S): “I have been sent to perfect good character.” (Imam Malik)

When children understand this reality, they will soon realize that the criterion for proper conduct comes not only from their parents, but the same is filtered through standards of their Creator Who sent the Prophet (S) with the mission to perfect ethical standards for humanity.

Subsequently, children who come to know their accountability to Allah understand that even if their parents sometimes make a mistake and do not uphold these standards, the standards they must live by have not changed, nor are they at fault…but it is the parents who have changed their approach to the standards and as such they are at fault.

This understanding builds a very solid anchor for youth who are developing a sense of direction – an internal moral compass – to guide them in doing what is right and ethical.

Such children brought up in a holistic faith atmosphere do not need to worry about whether they “fit in” or what others may think about them for being “different.”

They will have developed the self-confidence to speak up about their faith, take a firm stand on matters of truth, honesty, justice and compassion, etc., no matter whose company they are in or where they may be.

The reason?

They know that no human or worldly standards will ever make us entirely happy.

Our Creator taught us and the Prophet (S) practically has shown to us that the peace we are seeking in this life is achievable through living within the framework of God’s standards.

The world’s standards hold that if we human beings only achieve certain benchmarks in our lives we could become happy.

And we try hard and one after another of these benchmarks we will reach, pass, and move on to the next one… and yet, never achieve that feeling of being “fully satisfied”.

When we chase someone else’s benchmarks, we tend to miss our own that God Almighty has sent for us so that we find that peace, tranquility and happiness in our lives.

More we live according to God’s standards, the more time we spend committing ourselves to His standards, the further anchored we will become to the purpose He intended for our lives.

Of course, we also have to understand that some worldly standards could bring us some benefits into our lives, but not the eternal ones in this world and/or in the hereafter.

Ya Rabb! We ask of You to guide us towards knowing Your standards and living our lives according to them!

Allahumma Amin!