| Imam Zijad’s Corner: Children are born pure: Understanding of this basic Principle in Raising our children|
A person’s behavior can be interpreted in two ways: the first is that actions are assumed to be influenced by his internal characteristics; and the second is in which the possible causes of a person’s actions are related to his situation. This is the theory of attribution in social psychology. However, Allah’s Messenger said,
“No child is born except on Fitra (pure faith or primordial human nature) and then his/her parents make him/her Jew, Christian or Magian.” [Muslim]
This hadith states that Allah has created children pure, sinless and with a natural predisposition for good and a belief in the one God, i.e. there is a zero possibility of the child being influenced by his/her internal characteristics to misbehave. Hence, no blame can be placed on a child if he/she does anything wrong, especially till he reaches the age of puberty.
No child has any intention of doing wrong except that he/she is only imitating or applying what he/she has seen, heard, felt and learnt from his/her immediate environment.
What we get to see is when the child does something displeasing to his/her parents, he/she is immediately scolded and blamed. Parents must realize that he/she is only acting on what he/she sees, hears and feels.
It could be that he/she has copied the behavior from what went on around him/her, in the house, among extended family, school, friends, the social media, etc.
Action step: Remember that your child is pure and innocent. If he/she misbehaves, then look at his/her environment for a possible cause of misbehavior.