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Balance in Raising our Children

The Balance in Raising Our Children

by Imam Zijad

Narrated Abu Huraira (r) that al-Aqra’ b. Habis saw Allah’s Apostle (S) kissing Hasan. He said: “I have ten children, but I have never kissed any one of them, whereupon Allah’s Messenger (S) said: He who does not show mercy (towards his children), no mercy would be shown to him.”

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ الأَقْرَعَ بْنَ حَابِسٍ، أَبْصَرَ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يُقَبِّلُ الْحَسَنَ فَقَالَ إِنَّ لِي عَشَرَةً مِنَ الْوَلَدِ مَا قَبَّلْتُ وَاحِدًا مِنْهُمْ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم إِنَّهُ مَنْ لاَ يَرْحَمْ لاَ يُرْحَمْ

Source: Muslim

Transliteration: “Innahu Man La Yarham, La Yurham.”

Muslim parents should work on building children’s self-esteem and never give a chance to tear it down.

Helping children develop healthy self-esteem is one of the most important things that parents can do for them here and now.

Children need to be assured by their parents’ attitude of care, love and mercy, not just words, that they are a special gift from God.

This attitude of parents towards children would give them sense of value, purpose, and direction in their young life.

If parents do not achieve this goal but focus on weakening or tearing their children’s self-esteem, that could leave long term consequences in their lives of their own children.

There are several ways how parents tear down children’s self-worth and self-esteem:

  1. Perfectionism: Many parents see one ‘B’ among all ‘A’s’ which their children get at the end of a term.

Such perfectionist parents will tear down their children’s self-esteem by never being satisfied with their accomplishments.

Yes, it is good to fine tune of the children’s actions and it is desirable when parents are sure that the child’s self-esteem can handle it.

However, it is important that children’s effort be applauded.

  1. Overprotection: Parents should remember that bruised knees will heal, but low self-esteem can last for a lifetime.
  2. Humiliation: There are many parents who, by their way of dealing with their children and the way they talk to them, think that they are motivating and correcting their children, but instead, they are really humiliating them.

Humiliation is a common way to rob and destroy a child of self-esteem.

This applies to everyone, especially when we are dealing with our children.

Almighty Allah says in the Qur’an: “O you who believe! Do not humiliate one another by calling each other offensive names.” (Al Hujurat 11)

All parents are having different parental styles based on their personality type, background, and experiences.

Experts say that there are several styles of parenting that strengthen or weaken the child’s self-esteem, and these are: permissive, free-reigning, authoritarian, controlling and nurturing and limits setting.

Most parents fall somewhere between permissive and controlling styles.

Permissive and free-reigning parents often have trouble setting limits.

Authoritarian parents often fail to listen what children have to say or show respect for their ideas or opinions.

Controlling parents nurture and set limits for their children, but frequently go overboard in supervising and micromanaging them.

The most balance style of parenting is the one that falls between nurturing and setting limits.

Islam promotes moderation in every aspect of life, as pointed in the last three posts, including parenting, as Almighty Allah says in the Qur’an: “And thus We have made you an Ummah of moderation (justly balanced).”(Al Baqarah 143)

On this basis, the ideal parents are those who achieve the right balance between nurturing and limit setting.

They are firm in setting limits, yet they allow children freedom within those limits.

They make very positive comments and are reasonable in discipline.

They are principled, firm yet kind, merciful and generous.

The reason is obvious: they care about their children and thus want to ensure that the children attain full potential on the path of their development and growth.

If it happens that children sometimes face challenges on that path, children will know that their parents’ support is inevitable and available at any point in time they need it.

Ya Rabb! Guide us parents to nurture our children and set limits in their lives so that our lives and their lives be filled with progress, success, cooperation and mutual celebrations!

Allahumma Amin!

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Hiring – Online Quran Teachers

Job Description:  

 Position: Online Quran Teachers for grade JK, SK, and 1-8 for SNMC Alhuda School 

Qualifications: 

  • Able to read the Quran with proper Tajweed. 
  • Fluent in English speaking, reading writing. 
  • Capable of conducting classes online using Zoom. 
  • Capable of using different online tools like sharing other website, videos, cards, ..etc to teach Quran. 
  • Capable of communicating with fellow teachers, parents and management team through emails. 
  • Enthusiastic and passionate about teaching Quran. 
  • Able to simplify ideas and make it easy when communicating with students 
  • Reliable and committed to the agreed upon work schedule, 12:25pm to 2:30pm on Saturdays. 
  • Cooperative and open to constructive feedback. 
  • Previous online teaching experience is an asset. 
  • Previous employer reference if applicable 

 Responsibilities: 

  • Prepare and complete lessons according to class schedule 
  • Evaluate students’ class work 
  • Provide students and parents with academic feedback on students’ development, including progress reports as required 

To Apply: 

  • Send your resume with a brief cover letter attached to Alhudaschool@snmc.ca. In the cover letter, include all your related teaching/tutoring experience if applicable. 
  • Only candidates who meet our competency requirements will be contacted 
  • Please apply by 4 pm, October 5, 2020 

Job Type: Part-time, 2.5 hours per week, on Saturdays, from 12:30 to 2:30 pm plus 0.5 hours for class preparation. 

Tentative Starting Date: October 17, 2020, training/orientation will be provided prior to the starting date 

Salary: $20 per hour 

Work remotely: Yes 

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AlHuda Online Saturday School Registration

SNMC Al-Huda Online School is pleased to announce the registration of SNMC Al-Huda online Islamic school 2020/2021, JK to grade 8.

First Day: Saturday, Oct. 17, 2020  

Time: Every Saturday from 12:20pm- 2:30pm  

Student Fee: $100/year  

Please note that an email will be sent with details on how to make the fee payment. Filling the form does not guarantee your child a spot at the school.  

Requirements:  

– Each student needs his/her access to a device and an email to log in to the online classes  

– The student must have his/her device camera on during classes 

 – Each student must have his/her own Zoom account access email. 

To register please go to: https://tinyurl.com/yxflpw83 

 

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Imam Zijad’s Corner: Time (Al ‘Asr) and Its Importance in Islam

 

Narrated by Ibn ‘Abbas (r) that the Prophet (S) said: “There are two blessings which many people incur loss and they are a) good health and b) free time [for doing good deeds].”(Bukhari)


عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَ قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ “‏ نِعْمَتَانِ مَغْبُونٌ فِيهِمَا كَثِيرٌ مِنَ النَّاسِ، الصِّحَّةُ
وَالْفَرَاغُ ‏”‏‏
Source: Bukhari
Transliteration: “Ni’matani Maghbunun Fihima Kathirun Minannasi: As Sihah Wal Farag.”

One of the important points of the Surah Al ‘Ast is the notion of time.
There are three important aspects of time that we should be aware of:
1) Time is the greatest blessings we were given by the Creator

2) Our time is spent fast

3) Whatever is gone will not come back until the day of Judgement

So firstly, time is the most important asset, blessing and gift bestowed upon us!
Actually, time is life itself! We are number of days. As one day goes by, part of us ends with it, as explained by Hasan Al Basri.
Each one of us is given credits of 86,400 seconds in a day and each day opens a new account.
If we fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is ours, because “the clock of age” reduces life by the tick of every passing second.

Secondly, our time is spent fast!
The lesson of the story of Nuh a.s tells much about the reality of life in Duniya and the speed of passing of our life. Even though he lived 950 years, when he was aske d about his life in Duniya, he said that it was like a house with two doors…through one he entered and through
another he exited.
The Qur’an cautions us: “And on the day when He shall gather them together, it will be as if they had not stayed (in Duniya) but an hour of a day.” (Yunus 45)
And lastly, whatever of our time passed will not come back but on the Day of Judgement!
Hasan Al Basri taught us that “Every day when Fajr approaches, a caller calls, O son (child) of Adam! I am a new day and a witness of your deeds, so seize the opportunity of me. Indeed, if I pass, I will not come back till the Day of Judgment.”
That is why we believers are asked to prioritize our time.
We are obliged to value and thus evaluate every moment of our life.
We are asked that every moment be filled with productive activities.

Our role-model Muhammad (S) gave us the guidance in this regard when he asked us to have time for:
a) ‘Ibadah;
b) accountability (putting your books in order);
c) relationship with other creation of Allah and
d) time to secure the necessities of life. (Ibn Hibban)

If we would really like to be productive believers than we must divide our tasks into fouressential categories:

• Urgent and Important and must be done NOW!
• Not Urgent but Important and we can decide when we could do it!
• Urgent but not Important and we may delegate them to someone else to do them!
• Not Urgent and Not Important and all we need to do is dump them!

As we explained earlier, time is a precious resource.
It is a measure of passing of our life.
It is irreplaceable; unlike wealth.
Time once lost, cannot be gained back.
It is something you cannot have enough of.
It is something to be respected (yours and time of other people).
If not managed well, it could be a source of stress.
Thus, believers are obliged to plan our activities and use our time wisely.
Subhanallah!

The Surah opens with a reference to the Time, which is presented here to show that a human being is in loss if he/she fails to realize the real significance of the time given to him/her before he/she departs from this world…before the allocated time expires.
The first message of the Surah is very clear in this oath the Almighty started the Surah with:
“Insan’s (human being’s) single greatest asset in life is the time at his/her disposal.”
Various commentators have offered different viewpoints of the meaning of Al ‘Asr.

Here are two of their viewpoints:
a) it metaphorically indicates that we do not have time to waste and
b) it indicates bygone days wherein humanity has already shown these truths.

While all these interpretations have merit, Al ‘Asr is interpreted mostly to be telling us that there is no time to waste!
Whatever ‘Insan” achieves during his/her short sojourn upon the Earth is crucial for his/her future in the life to come.
In short life of Duniya (this earthy life), one can achieve eternal bliss and peace, if he/she would use time wisely and in accordance with the laws laid down for him/her by the Creator.
A misuse or neglect of this gift, on the other hand, can lead human beings to disaster and unhappiness.
The word time is used for the past as well as for the passing time in which the present, in fact, does not signify any long stretch of time.
Every moment, when it has passed, becomes past, and every moment of the future, when it is passing, becomes present, and when it has passed, becomes past…

The oath by the time also means that human history testifies that the people who were without these qualities eventually incurred loss, and in order to understand the significance of the oath by the passing time, one should understand that the time which is now passing is,
in fact, the time which has been given to every single individual and every single nation so it is up to them how they would deal with their allocated time.

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Founder’s Corner: New School Year, September 2020, Emdad Khan

We are now nearly at the end of August 2020. We talked with a cross section of  parents and every one seems to have some anxiety about the kids and children as the new September 2020  school year is knocking at the door. We see the school boards in Ottawa and Toronto are debating various options, on line, physical school or hybrid options. The Ontario education ministry is also suggesting various alternatives.

According to  some parents only 1/4 of students are selecting  on online education and based on their experiences of the last few months they are worried about the quality of online education. Although as per data, 3/4  children have opted for hybrid or physical school education. They are also worried, as the children may bring home some form of virus..

According to a CBC.ca  news of August 21, 2020, 41 schools  in Berlin report the impact of the corona virus. Based on the August 10, 2020, www.mirror.co.uk, reported in the last 2 weeks of July,  in the USA, 97,000 school children tested positive for coronavirus before the start of the school year..

Another educationist from GTA reported, one school in GTA within 2 days of opening, got one case of positive coronavirus and the whole school of  250 students and 8 teachers were all quarantined for 2 weeks.

Some other Ottawa educationists are hesitant to advise parents what to do with their school children, They think it is certainly not an easy decision to take.  Each one , online schooling or physical schooling each has some advantage and some challenges.  Online schooling may be a bit  less risky but online schooling is not the same as physical schooling. As in physical schooling, teachers will engage the children, with help being handy and some children perform better in actual schools  under the supervision of teachers, Based on their own situation, a family can select online or physical schooling.

One thing is clear as  Ontario ( Ottawa and Toronto)  now for about two/three  months, are in stage 3 of business including places of worship/Masjids.  Alhamdu Lillah, in Ontario (Ottawa and Tornto), there have been some  reports of  some increased Coronavirus in few  businesses or places of worship, but still it seems businesses and places of worship are functioning ok under new normal.

Whatever individual parents decide, it is certain, majority of parents, for various reasons, will decide to send their children to physical schooling and the minority will select an online option.

First three months, March to May 2020 , most of the people, parents, children, we all were confined to home. From June to August 2020, most of us are out in parks, shopping malls and in the playground, we are increasingly adapted to new normal. We see parks are full, businesses are  functioning normally under new normal. Same way, with some ups  and downs, we visualize the schools will also run under new normal

We pray and hope for our children, parents and community to remain safe  and secure  as well as students can safely continue the school year from September 2020.

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Verse of the Week + Khateeb Schedule

VERSE OF THE WEEK WITH ARABIC/ENGLISH:
Almighty Allah reminds us in the Qur’an:

1. In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most MercifulBy the passage of Time!

2. Surely, humanity is in loss,

3. Except for those who have faith, do righteous deeds and advise each other to the truth and advise each other to patience. (Al ‘Asr 1-3).

 

 

SNMC JUMA PRAYER September 4th , 2020 (Four Khutbahs):
1st Khutbah 1:00 pm: Khateeb – Imam Dr. Mohsen
2nd Khutbah at 2:00 pm: Khateeb – Imam Dr. Zijad
3rd Khutbah at 3:00 pm – Dr. Emdad Khan
4th Khutbah at 4:00 pm – Dr. Ahmed Alsayed

Jumah Prayer will be held @ the SNMC MASJID/CENTER, 3020 Woodroffe Ave,
Barrhaven, Canada.

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Abraham/Ibrahim AHS Festival of Sacrifice, Dr Emdad Khan

The Yam Al-Nahar, the day of Sacrifice, also known as Abraham/Ibrahim AHS Festival of Sacrifice,- the greatest  day of the year.

God tested in multiple ways, with  big tests, the founder of 3 unity faiths, Christianity, Judaism and Islam, prophet Ibrahim AHS..He was asked to sacrifice his dearest son, Ismail AHS and but at the end  the animal was sacrificed.  God tested his sincerity.  Its now has become an yearly  ritual in Islam coinciding with the yearly Hajj pilgrimage to Makakh.

In the Quran, in 108.2, the Most Merciful states, ” Therefore to your Lord turn in Prayer and Sacrifice.”.  But to further clarify the purpose, He states in 22.37, ” It is not their meat or the blood that reaches God, it is your piety that reaches Him.”  so our sincerity in action is important.

SNMC instituted about 20 years back  to motivate and support the Ottawa muslims  to make the ritual sacrifice of an animal on the day of sacrifice coinciding with the Hajj pilgrimage.here in Canada along with back home. We are here to stay in Ottawa and Canada, is our new home.We are required and able to practice all aspects of Islam in a peaceful way in Canada.

Also we are encouraged to eat one portion by us and give one portion to friends and families and one portion to the needy.In the first week of August 2020,  we distributed  the sacrificed meat of lamb, goat and cows  in  one or two Kg  see-through ziplock bags to about 15 of our neighbours as we do every year.

We saw smiles in the faces of all families, men and women of all faiths..They will be inshaAllah,  real ambassadors of muslims and Islam in Ottawa.

Those made an animal  sacrifice here in Ottawa or Canada, please try to distribute to the neighbours. Those did not  give a sacrifice here in Canada, please try next year  in Canada and distribute to neighbours. Let us  see first hand  the joy and happiness and let us make our neighbours real ambassadors of Islam and Muslims in a an easy and affordable way by a simple action. Ameen.

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Founder’s Corner: Dr Emdad Khan

Reflection

Dr. Emdad Khan

Let us all reflect on our lives, the last seven months from January 2020 to July 2020 under the powerful invisible micro virus and if we are alive, look for a road map, for next six months up to January 2021. Also reflect on the lives of our known contacts, relatives, friends, neighbours, coworkers, and so on.We have all learned and rediscovered ourselves and the world around us.We have gone through many challenges and overcame them successfully..

So let us again, look at our new normal life and reflect how we all  changed  and our environment changed and keep on reflecting.Few things are part of new normal, online work and study, spending more time at home,  two meter social distancing, face masks, and line up in many many places and spend time in queque..

Thanks God, most of Ontario under stage three, in Ottawa and Canada we are far better off. Compared to Ramadan and Eid Al Fitr, we are better off spiritually in terms of places of worship, SNMC  and other masjids are open for Jumah, Eid AlAdha and regular prayers and some other spiritual and social programs are coming up slowly.
Now think of past history, God has tested earlier generations and this time He is testing the whole world. It is an opportunity for us, like we got a second chance in life,  to reflect and rectify, be caring and humble.Still we see in some countries , more arrogance and evil things happening. May God guide us all to  come to the straight  path, path of eternal success. Ameen

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SNMC Qurbani/Udhia pickup and donation meat drop off

Dear Brothers and Sisters; Alslamou Alikoum and Eid Mubarak

Qurbani/Udhaia meat will be delivered to SNMC  on Wednesday August 5th at 4PM, In Sha Allah

Meat must be collected by 6:30 PM on Wednesday August 5th from SNMC. Curbside pickup.

For Brothers and sisters who arranged their Qurbani/Udhia somewhere else and wish to donate the meat to SNMC, please drop off the meat at SNMC on Wednesday between 4-7PM at SNMC

Local needy will receive meat from 6:00PM to 8:00PM.

Sadaqa food bank and Ottawa food bank trucks will pick up the rest of the meat at 8:30PM.

Please note that any uncollected meat will be donated to foodbanks at 8:30.

So please collect your meat by 6:30PM, SNMC is not responsible for any uncollected meat.

For Donations – Please pack approx.. 1kg ziplock packets clearly written Halal Lamb / Goat / Cow

Unfortunately, SNMC has no facilities to store any uncollected meat

 If you have any questions please feel free to email info@snmc.ca.

Summary:

All activity on same day – Wed 5th Aug

Collection –                        4PM to 6:30PM

Drop off –                            4PM to 7:00PM

Locale Needy pickup –  6PM to 8PM

Food Bank Pickup –         8:30PM

JAK

SNMC team

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Commitment in Din: Meaning and Importance

Narrated by Shahr bin Haushab who said, I asked Umm Salamah (r. ‘anha), “O Mother of the Believers! Which supplication did the Messenger of Allah (S) make frequently when he was in your house?” She said: “He (S) supplicated frequently: “O Controller of the hearts make my heart steadfast in Your religion).”
وعن شهر بن حوشب قال‏:‏ قلت لأم سلمة، رضي الله عنها، يا أم المؤمنين ما كان أكثر دعاء رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم، إذا كان عندك‏؟‏ قالت‏:‏ كان أكثر دعائه‏:‏ ‏ “‏يا مقلب القلوب ثبت قلبي على دينك‏”‏ ‏(‏‏(‏رواه الترمذي، وقال‏:‏ حديث حسن‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏
Source: Tirmizi
Transliteration: ‘Ya Muqallibal Qulubi, Thabbit Qalbi ‘ala Dinik.”
In another words, the Prophet (S) used to supplicate often that Allah keeps him committed to the principles of Islam,
For us here in Canada, another Eid this year is over, but as believers, we cannot take a rest or a vocation from our faith!
We know that upon saying the Shahadah and becoming Muslims, we make the covenant with Almighty Allah, the Creator.
At this point of time, we promise a commitment which is the essential foundation of any Islamic activity, especially in Canadian Muslim community (ies).
These committed individuals are named by Allah as ‘The Just and Balanced Nation – Ummatan Wasata.’
They individually and collectively stand in the world as witnesses to humanity: “Thus We have made you a Just and Balanced Nation, that you be witnesses over mankind and the Messenger of Allah witness over you.” (Al Baqarah 143)
Being called ‘Ummatan Wasata’, having this status is a great honor but a great responsibility as well.
Meeting the obligation to be called Ummatan Wasata and playing the role of the Just and Balanced Community are the goals set for the believing community in Canada.
To achieve these goals, members of the believing community must commit themselves to the covenant made with Allah.
What do we mean by the term “commitment”?
According to the lexicon, the term “commitment” means the state of being pledged, obliged to something.
What is then the Islamic commitment?
It means to increase the sense, the feeling, the consciousness of being pledged and obliged to Almighty Allah and the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad (S) and the betterment of others and environment we live in.
It is the sense of responsibility towards ourselves, others and environment.
In short, commitment means to make more serious and concrete pledge to work and sacrifice for the cause of Allah by making ourselves accountable to Him and making shore that others benefit from us for His sake.
Allah informs us about the Right Direction and the commitment to it in the following words: “Say: Verily, my prayer, my sacrifice, my living, and my dying are for Allah, the Lord of the ‘Alamin.” (Al An’am 162)
The best example of the commitment is found in the lives of Prophets, the Sirah of the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad (S) and the life of Sahabah.
Those who read it, first what strikes them is the high level of commitment of the members of the early Muslim community to the cause of good in the name of Allah.
1. Look at the commitment of Bilal (r) who was tortured under the Arabian sun. (We are not asked to sacrifice so much!) Look at the faith which he had. Look at the words: Ahad, Ahad, Ahad (only One God). Look at the power of his sincere Iman. Look at his struggle for social justice! Look at his readiness to sacrifice that others could have freedom.
2. Look at the commitment of Abu Bakr! He leaves his property, good social status among the Quraysh and follows the Din of Islam. He gives ALL for the pleasure of Allah and betterment of people/community.
3. Look at the personality of the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad (S), his Iman, and his energy. He refuses all the gifts, power of Duniya by choosing the Din of Allah: ‘If you would give me the sun in my right hand and the moon in my left hand I would never stop the mission ordered by Allah.’
4. Look at the lives of Ibrahim, his son Ismail and the Mother Hajar and you will find amazing examples of self-sacrifice and commitment for the sake of Allah.
Ya Rabb! Help us make our hearts committed to the Din, follow the path of commitment of the great giants and role-models from our past and make us of those who would commit ourselves to the principles of righteousness that the Almighty is pleased with.
Allahumma Amin!