Successful Marriage Tips: For Both — Husbands and Wives!
by Imam Dr. Zijad Delic, Imam of South Nepean Muslim Community
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short (Andre Maurois)
What really do we want in our marriages?
- Want to stay together? Do pray together! (Do things together!)
Build your relationship through Faith as the foundation of your marriage: Once, somebody said the following: Those who pray together; stay together! Faith is a seed and good behavior is a fruit in one’s marriage.
- Want to help your own marriage? Give compliments to one another!
Every day, pay a compliment to your wife/husband for something s/he does, rather than focusing your attention on her/his faults/shortcomings.
- Want to be without disappointments? Be positive!
In the face of the many disappointments, our spouse may bring your way each day or week, always choose to think the best.
- Want your spouse be a team player? Encourage one another!
When your wife/husband (spouse) is doing some chore around the house (laundry, cutting the grass :-), etc.), stop her and say, “Thank you for your hard work: I love you for it!”
- Want to avoid most of your arguments? Learn to use appropriate words!
Learn to say to your spouse: “You and I may think differently, but I love the uniqueness each of us bring to our relationship!”
- Want to live marriage without fights? Take care of what you say and do!
If you ever raise your voice in the heat of an argument with your spouse, you must apologize for your lack of self control and insensitivity! Do not blame him/her for your own failure! In our tongues is honey…but a poison too!
- Want good attitude from the spouse? Be the best towards her/him!
Why are we more polite to a total stranger on the phone, than we would be to our spouse—the most important person in the world to us?! (Akmalul Mu’minina Imanan ahsanuhum Khuluqa…
- Want your spouse to be on your team? Do not compete!
Treat your spouse as best friends treat each other. You are a team… you are not in a competition! Wal Mu’minuna wal Mu’minatu b’aduhum awliyau b’ad…
- Want to live together for a long time? Be patient with one another!
Don’t give up during tough times; realize that love grows when it is tested – the way we respond is essential for keeping our marriage alive… As Sabru Diya (Patience is like light!)
- Want a happy marriage? Make yourself accountable to your spouse!
Be more accountable to your marriage than you are to your jobs…Hasibu anfusakum qabla an tuhasibu…
- Want walking hand-in-hand with one another? Work on your marriage!
If you aren’t consistently working on your marriage, it may change from a duet (teamwork) to a duel (conflict)!
- Want to learn in marriage? Think before you speak!
Being married teaches us many valuable lessons; one lesson of great importance is: think before you speak! Bosnian saying: Measure 3 times before you cut it!
- Want to make your marriage alive? Spend time together!
Date one another! Make time for each other…even in your busy schedules…
- Want to live gratifying life? Forgive and forget!
Forgive and forget even when it seems that your spouse doesn’t deserve it. Do not live in the past! More than anything else, excel at forgiving. One who does not forgive, will not be forgiven!
- …and…Celebrate your marriage! Celebrate any success in your marriage… small or big – together!
Celebrate your anniversary, religious celebrations, national…success in work/jobs, education and success of your children, buying a house, etc.